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To the modern American mind, the entire foundation of a marriage was positive feelings, and so entering into a marriage in which you weren't sure the feelings were there seemed like a recipe for disaster.

What I would eventually realize is that my friends had an entirely different understanding of what love and marriage are all about.

They hoped for the same exciting feelings that American culture calls "love," but they didn't see those emotions as definitive of the concept.

They saw love as an , one that's rooted in mutual self-giving and self-sacrifice.

They were the experiment that tested the secular hypothesis of love-as-a-feeling, and the hypothesis proved to be false.

I remember the first time I found out that one of my friends had an arranged marriage.

I was at a work function and struck up a conversation with a coworker in which I asked him how he and his wife met.

It led to a lot of fun and interesting discussions, and what I learned would eventually shatter my notions of what the institution of marriage was all about.

The typical secular American viewpoint is that marriage is about "love," and love is a feeling.